Count Dooku vs the Dukan Diet

Strange note: For some reason I am getting a lot of hits when people search for “Wizard of Oz” or “Oz”. I have no idea how this is happening. I know I mention it a lot and I have a couple of tags about it but I shouldn’t be getting these hits. Who would come to this stupid blog for Wizard of Oz information? It boggles my mind. I am not an internet guru though. I can google like no one’s business but I don’t know a lot about it. I am no TorontoMike.

I didn’t realize it but yesterday marked 3 months of the Count Dooku diet. My weight this morning was 192.1 which means I have lost 45.6 lbs! I am pretty pleased with my progress. This Dooku diet has been pretty good. I have debated writing a post about what exactly I am really doing. Since obviously the Count Dooku name is entirely made up (Trademark Swa) and I don’t think Darth Tyranus knew a lot about dieting. Sure he knew a lot about lightsabres, lighting fingers and choke holds. And for some reason he could kick Obi-wan’s ass (yet Obi-wan could kick Anakin, Darth Maul and countless other’s asses) but he wouldn’t know the fine details of a French doctor’s diet.

The diet is called the Dukan Diet and it is much like the Atkins diet. It has been about low fat meat protein and no carbs. The creator, Pierre Dukan, describes the diet well in his book (or so I have heard..I never really read it). I have taken his plan and made it fit my lifestyle a little better. However, I follow the principals to the letter.

I do not eat fruits, carbs, butters, or fatty meats. I eat low fat beef, pork loin, chicken, turkey and shell fish. I could eat other fish but my wife has always hated fish. I tried to cook it once and the smell permeated the house for a week. It also tasted horrible. I just can’t cook fish for some reason. I eat zero fat yogurt without sugar everyday. I also eat 2 tblsps of oat bran everyday. I eat a variety of vegetables every other day. Soon I will enter the third phase of the diet where I start adding low fat cheese, whole grain bread, one fruit a day and a starch once a week. I will also be eating my veggies everyday. The diet plan is not exciting and you could call it plain. But I don’t mind so much. For the most part, I have made good meals and have enjoyed what I have eaten. I have also made some pretty horrid dinners as well. I didn’t think it was possible to make meatballs taste like dirt. I did it spectacularly. I also view some meals as just fuel. I don’t worry about a great taste or loving it. Usually I reserve those meals for lunches. I enjoy my breakfast (greek yogurt, turkey bacon and two eggs) and my dinner.

I have lost enough weight for a lot of people to notice. If someone hasn’t seen me in a while I usually get a comment about it. I know how noticeable it is now. I am still not 100% content with where I am but that’s why I have gone off Dukan’s diet plan and made it my own. He only recommends walking for 30 minutes a day. I want to be more fit than that. So I have run for 30 minutes a day on even days and run for 10 minutes and have done weights for 30 minutes on odd days. I also attend a workout class every Monday night. I know my last bit of fat isn’t going to be lost easily and I need to work for it. I also know I need to be in better shape. Not just for the looks of it but for the long term good it will do me.

The hardest part of the diet has been statying true to Dooku. I have “cheated” a few times and it hasn’t been worth it. While in Florida I at wings at Hooters (they were just okay), waffles at the Waffle House (not that great) and a burger at Chilis (only because we were stuck at the airport and it was not very good). Back at home I have cheated twice (my evening of booze and chips…the chips were tasty and the booze was as well…the next day I felt like crap) and on the Bidster’s birthday (totally not worth it). Otherwise in the three months I have been entirely faithful to the lifestyle. I have been tempted (yesterday I was at a goodbye lunch at East Side Mario’s and I passed up salad and bread and only ate a piece of chicken and veggies) but I have not caved. I know the tastes would be worth it but I have learned that the feeling in my stomach is not worth it. I will save these cheat days for things I enjoy more. I plan to cheat at Thanksgiving, Christmas and a few other days. These days will count and I will enjoy them.

My updates will still be a weekly thing but I think I will be focusing less on my weight and more on my fitness level. Can I run further? Can I lift more? I am not trying to be pumped like a meat head, but I want to be fit. Right now I am in decent shape. I know I can do just a little better. I am curious to see what happens now that I am doing a full workout routine. How will I look? How will I feel?

Keep reading and see what happens.

Wow that last line sucked. What the fuck is this? A serial novel? I’m such an idiot. Count Dooku would shoot those electric bolts at me.

 

Ending the Blame

I am still steering away from political posts. I am fed up with the name calling and the insanity of right vs left. Why can’t people from the centre start making noise and shut both sides down? There are valid points on both sides but they refuse to listen to one another. It’s too frustrating to write about. There is far too much good in this world to stress about these things.

I have written a lot about my childhood and not a lot of what I have written has been very good. I have complained about a lack of love from my father, sexual abuse by a relative, and an overall crappy life. I don’t mean to only write about the bad things. They seem to be the most memorable events in my life and the things that I think have formed who I have become the most. It’s sad to think that I only really remember the shit. The good things tend to be the things that took me away from the shit. Again, it seems sad. I try and think of a great thing like a trip to Hawaii but all I can remember from it is that my father, step-mother and brother left me alone to find my own things to do. I ended up being bored. How can I be upset about that? The best part I can remember is having fresh pineapple juice for breakfast. Why do I dwell on the bad things?

I ask myself the question and I cannot come to a good answer. While I am pretty self-aware and recognize my weaknesses and take responsibility for things that I have done, I cannot grasp this part of my life. I can reflect on good things with my family now and good memories with my friends. Why do I look at my childhood and find nothing but sorrow?

I don’t have an answer and I am desperately seeking one. I want to slap myself and tell my memories to remember the good. Have I decided that I hated my childhood and I have now blocked out the good memories? Am I so bitter that I refuse to let myself acknowledge that it wasn’t all that bad? I don’t know and it bothers me.

I am reflecting on this for one reason. I have been evaluating my relationship with my mother and trying to figure it out. For many years I was angry at her. I think I blamed her for my parents divorce, I think I blamed her for not knowing that I was abused, I think I blamed her for getting re-married and not spending time with me. I blamed her for a lot of things. I think I even blamed her for not making me try harder in school (which was entirely my fault). I probably even blamed her for my father not showing me any affection or my brother running off when I was still young.

I don’t blame her for those things anymore. This past year has been a year of growth. After the “don’t call me fat” incident we dealt with what was said and we moved forward. From that point on we grew closer together. I have a better understanding of my mother and she has a better understanding of me. I can look back on my childhood and appreciate what she did do for me. She is the one who held me when I was sad. She took the brunt of my anger at the divorce, my father leaving me alone and my brother not being a “big brother”. She wasn’t perfect and made mistakes along the way, but they weren’t malicious mistakes and sometimes there were intended well. As I got older, she used me to take her anger out on. When her second marriage was failing, she could yell at me. When my brother wasn’t around for her, she could blame me for things. But she always knew I would be the one to take care of her when it was needed. When her mother died, I was the one who held her up. I was the one who made sure she ate and made sure she could breathe.

Now we are both past the days of blame and anger. The past two months have been the founding of a new relationship. We vacationed together and never fought or got upset at one another. We had a great time.

My mother loves my family and treats my wife as if she were her own daughter. I never have to defend my wife against my mother because I never have to. She treats my boys with love and affection and she honestly cares for me.

She is closing in on 70 and I fear our time together is growing short. I am lucky to still have her as I have friends who have lost their mothers. I am going to cherish the time we have left. It may be 20 years and it may not be. I won’t worry about the future, I will live in the moments we have and make sure she is a part of my family. I love my mother. She isn’t perfect but she’s mine. I forgive her for the wrongs and I thank her for them at the same time. She hugged me when I was sad and happy and I will return every hug I got.

 

Count Dooku vs Idiotic Decisions

I have learned a valuable lesson. Food is evil. Food makes you fat. Food is tasty. Food isn’t worth it.

I don’t know where to begin with my rage at myself. On Sunday we celebrated my son’s 9^th birthday. Our beach day was cancelled since it was too cold (and we had anticipated this on Friday) and we changed it to an “at home” Games Day. For some reason that I can only explain as temporary insanity, I decided that I would break my diet and have a Vanilla Coke (imported from the US on our Florida vacation) and eat some party mix and chips.  In addition to eating that crap, I knew we were going to the Mandarin for dinner and I would eat some more “off my diet” food there.

I will admit that the Vanilla Coke and the party mix tasted great. However, after about an hour my stomach was in knots. I felt like I was being stabbed by a voodoo doll. None of the crap that I ate was sitting well and I began to regret my choice to eat it. Of course, we still went to the Mandarin where I continued to eat poorly. Most of what I ate wasn’t too bad. I ate a lot of meat and a few slices of their bizarrely good tasting pizza. Then I ate two pieces of Coconut Cream Pie and attempted to eat a slice of Lemon Meringue. The Lemon Meringue pie was still frozen. This made me realise that I this food is not great quality and why am I ruining all me hard work on mediocre food? Those thoughts faded quickly as nausea swept over me. For a few minutes I thought I may vomit. I didn’t and I made it home fine.

I felt like crap for the rest of the night and couldn’t even think about food. To make matters worse (and I think to punish myself) I stood on the scale. In the morning I weighed 192.4 lbs. In the evening I weighed 196.9 lbs. All I could think was WTF (Why the Face?). I went to bed angry at myself for wasting my hard work on crap and not really enjoying it. I didn’t sleep well (and also I was reading A Storm of Swords before bed and got to a very revealing chapter about something I won’t spoil for anyone….but it made me read more). When I woke up today, I went to the scale and I was still up a few pounds. My weight was 194.2 lbs. I am up 2 pounds due to the food I ate. This really makes me think about my future indulgences. Is it really worth it? I think it would have been if the food was better. If the pie was homemade and was fantastic I could deal with it. I also think I shouldn’t have done the pop and the chips and then went to the Mandarin as well. I regret my decisions. I have worked too hard to make those kinds of mistakes.

This has been a great lesson though. I think I will really make better decisions going forward and pick my times to “cheat” a little better. I will pick to eat things that are worth it.

So where am I on the Count Dooku diet? I can honestly say I have lost 43 lbs. I could say that I have lost 45 lbs but gained 2. I am going to keep pushing until I hit 50 lbs even and then work on maintaining that. I still look good despite my day yesterday but I don’t feel as good as I should. That food is still not sitting well. It makes me sad to think that a can of Vanilla Coke is probably the true culprit in my stomach troubles. I have 11 cans left! I doubt I will ever drink them.

Off-topic….

I am loving my new job! I know it is only one day in but so far it has been great. I am looking forward to the future!

 

The New Kid

I start my new job today. So if this post seems short, that’s because it is.

I feel like I am at my first day of school with a new teacher. What will the other kids think of me? Will there be anyone I know in my class? I am sitting at my new desk right now and it already feels foreign to me. Where do I put my lunch? What’s in these drawers? When will my stuff arrive to make this seem a little more like home?

This is all entirely new. No one has arrived yet and I am nervously awaiting it. They will know who I am. I have done presentations to them before but I don’t really know who they are. I think I have done the “head nod” to one of them before, but I can’t be sure.

I hate being the new kid.

 

How to Get to Oz and Avoid the Zombie Apocolypse

I missed my ride to Oz last night. Besides tornados and Hot Air Balloons, how else can you get there? And I think Hot Air Balloons scare me more than tornados. I was hoping to get to Oz because there is this Ox who is a professor from Quox who is no longer permitted to teach. He lost all powers of speech. And he owes me $10. Oh well, I will keep waiting.

The storm wasn’t as bad as I feared it would be and I didn’t need to enact my “Holy Shit!” plans. It ended up just being a really nice lightning show, if you had the balls to stand at a window. I was once told by my father that standing by a window killed a friend of his. I don’t know if it is a true story but it has always made me afraid. I also fear that if I thought he was making something up and I did stand by a window and I was maimed, electrocuted or killed I would feel like a fool. Except if I was killed, I suppose. I wouldn’t feel so foolish since I would be dead. So I never stand in front of a window.

The most fascinating part of the storm was how it showed me that social media can be really helpful. Through texting, BBM and watching a Twitter account (I am not on Twitter, I just watched the feed) I was able to stay informed about the storm. There were even updates on Facebook about how others were doing. I know that the storm may have been overblown and the recent devastation in Goderich made us all jumpy. Regardless of the hype, I wanted to be prepared. You honestly never know if it is going to happen. If you’re sitting at home and not even thinking about a plan if a Tornado comes, then I think that’s a little foolish. I didn’t rush to the basement or hide under a table. But I did know what to do if one was coming. My tornado plan matches well with my zombie apocalypse plan. The only difference is a lack of shotguns and samurai swords. My son, the one with the birthday, had his own plan. This was his safety suit in case we got hit. He didn’t explain the lack of pants.

 This week we have seen tornadoes, earthquakes and hurricanes. I think Armageddon is almost upon us. Doesn’t the bible say these things will happen? Should we start blaming the gays now? That church in the states tells me that the gays getting married are to blame for God’s wrath. But then another church tells me that Satan is in control and Jesus will lead the charge to oust him and lead us to everlasting life. So who is to blame? Is it God’s wrath at the gays doing something that doesn’t affect the public and is none of their fucking business anyway or is it Satan being mischievous? All the signs point to Armageddon, we have earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados, famine (I have been hungrier lately) and…what’s the last one? Oh, wait we are safe for now. They haven’t made a sequel to From Justin to Kelly. We are all safe for now. But if Justin Guarini starts to make a comeback, I will be enacting my Tornado/Four Horsemen/Zombie Apocalypse plan.

And finally….

Today is the last day in my role before I start my new one tomorrow (yeah, on a Friday, it’s weird). I have very little to do today and I will probably pre-write my post for tomorrow morning. I plan on being too busy to write in the morning and I have to keep my tens of readers happy. I am the ultimate in customer service commitment.

 

Happy Birthday, Bid

On August 23, 2002 I was preparing to watch the season premiere of OZ on Showcase. This was before HBO Canada. I was a big fan of the show and I was eagerly anticipating seeing what was going to happen with Beecher, O’Reily and Said. That evening I had cooked some great steaks on the BBQ and I had a nice line up of snacks for the evening. My wife was going to watch the show with me and our son was in bed; everything was perfect.  My sister-in-law called and asked if my wife was going to give birth that night. I told her that it was safe and she could go out drinking if she wanted. As the OZ’s theme song started rolling I heard a cry from the bathroom. I didn’t think too much of it. Then she spoke, “I think my water just broke.” Holy crap, our second child is coming. How can that be? OZ is on! Not during OZ? Can the baby wait?

No, the baby couldn’t wait. And that was the beginning of Connor’s entrance into our family.

The rest of the evening went as planned. I called my Mother-in-law and asked her and my Father-in-law to come to the house to watch Alex. I called my Mum and let her know. I called my sister-in-law and left a message. She was already out and probably would get the message when she was quite drunk. Oops. We got to hospital without any issues and were seen quite quickly. It turns out that her water did not break but they said she was ready anyway. This was it. The kid was coming…just not quite yet.

The next few hours were pretty calm. My wife handled everything well and the labour progressed faster than it did for Alex. My Mother-in-law was there and so were my Mum and eventually my drunken sister-in-law (she still blames my bad advice). At about 4am I was getting hungry and there was nothing to eat anywhere. I tried not to complain but it was getting to me. My Mum offered to get me some food and she left with my sister-in-law. Unfortunately she came back with a bunch of crap I wouldn’t eat. While I appreciated the effort, I couldn’t quite grasp why she got me a sandwich covered in mustard. I have hated mustard for my entire life and she has given me a hard time about it for the entire time. I know it sounds stupid, but at the time I was incredulous. If it was 2010, I would have said WTF? Why the Face? So I didn’t eat.

I held my wife’s hand the entire time and lost the feeling in my fingers a few times. She was strong and fearsome throughout the labour and handled it very well. When it came time to push around 6:30 in the morning, she fought through the pain and fatigue and did what mothers have been doing for a millennia and delivered our new baby. This time I got to watch the whole thing. I saw the baby crown and I saw the baby shoot right out. It was utterly fascinating. I got to watch it all. I was prevented when Alex was born due to complications, but this time I got to see everything. I saw the baby and the placenta (man is that bigger than I thought!). I also got to cut the umbilical cord of my new son who was born on August 24, 2002 around 6:36am. We had no idea what sex he was until he was born. After cleaning up and holding him together, I got to announce the arrival of my son to my family. I couldn’t help but tear up when I told them that we had a new son, Connor Gary. We chose Connor because I loved the name (and the Irish aspect) and Gary after my wife’s father (although I have a friend who is convinced it is after him…maybe a little). As exhausted as I was, it was still an exhilarating moment.

The rest of the day was long and hard. We got up to our room and settled in. I was eventually sent home at 4pm or so. I hadn’t slept and there wasn’t any room for me to rest at all. My wife and son needed the rest too (they kinda did all the work!). I remember just collapsing on the couch and never getting back up. Thankfully Alex was still with his Grandfather.

That day did not bring any problems or issues. We were out of the hospital the next day by noon and home with our new son pretty fast. My wife is a pretty strong person and wasn’t going to sit around and be pampered or treated like a patient. As she would say, “I have things to do. Let’s get to gettin’.”

And that was it. We had a new member of the family.

Connor was immediately known as Little Buddy. It is a name that has stuck with him for 9 years. It has variations (Little B, Lil B, Bid, Biddy, Bidster, Biddy-B and B) but the name has stuck. It is embroidered into his hats (at his request) and he even signs his name with it. He often calls himself the Bidster.

Watching him grow has been a joy. He has always been a little different in the most adorably strange ways. As a baby he would only sleep in a snowsuit, in a car seat, in his crib. He has always had a love of costumes and capes. One of my newest, closest friends met him as Darth Vader. He often wore capes wherever we went. People would stare at him but he didn’t care. He liked his capes. He liked dressing as a Jedi to go get groceries. Even though he won’t wear the costumes or capes out anymore, he still dresses up at home. Whether it is a Pirate (Capt. Biddy Sparrow), a Ninja (Ninja-Bid), a Knight (Sir Biddy) or any other idea that pops into his head (a robot made out of pop cases) he still loves to pretend to me something.

He is a fascinating kid to watch. While he may have issues with Math and Spelling, he is more observant than a kid should be. He can mimic people with little details of their quirks with the utmost precision. He can look at a picture and recreate it in plasticine like a professional artist. He can watch You-Tube videos of dance moves and do them like was trained. He can make anyone laugh and feel good about themselves and he has a bigger heart than the Grinch after it grew 3 sizes that day.

Yesterday he went out shopping. He had $25 in birthday money to spend how he wished. He bought his brother a gift card to Aeropostle. He thought his brother would love it. That’s the kind of kid he is.

My Little Buddy is a great boy. Sure he can’t keep a room clean to save his life, he may get frustrated too easily and be quick to anger but he loves everything around him and his empathy may be his greatest strength.

Happy Birthday, Little B. You’ve brought more joy into my life than I ever thought possible. Thank you.

 

 

Tom Waits – Bad As Me

Some of you may think I am insane, others may question my taste in music. I don’t care.

This excites me.

Tom Waits has a new album due in October.

I think I may need to write a post just about my love for Tom. He’s an acquired taste, I know. But he sings from the depths of his soul and you feel it.

 

Jack Layton’s Last Message to Canada

I know this has been reposted all over the internet and I am just adding to the clutter. But I felt compelled to post this.

Jack Layton’s Farewell Letter is pretty powerful stuff. This was written a mere two days before he died.

Dear Friends, 

Tens of thousands of Canadians have written to me in recent weeks to wish me well. I want to thank each and every one of you for your thoughtful, inspiring and often beautiful notes, cards and gifts. Your spirit and love have lit up my home, my spirit, and my determination. 

 

BodyPump and the Zombie Apocolypse…Engagement Style

Last night I attended my first BodyPump class.  What is BodyPump? Besides being an all muscle workout, it is a lot more painful and harder than it seems. I thought I could handle this class and selected weights that ended up being a little too heavy for me. At first it was simple but as the class progressed I realised that my arms were becoming rubbery and my strong man physique was failing. This was one hard ass class. I was relieved when the half-hour was up. Unfortunately the class was actually an hour and if not for being in a room full of women, I would have cried. Luckily my sweat hid my tears as I pushed through to the end of the class. My 1980 friend was with me and he warned me that the class was hard. I thought he was a wimp. It turns out that wimpy was right. I can’t wait for next week when we do it again.

 

I may have written about my disdain for stupid photos. I have praised the website Awkward Family Photos before and I still look at it weekly. The worst kinds of photos are stupid wedding ones. Those shots of some stupid groom looking for his new bride as she peers around a tree make me light headed. The shots were all the groomsmen hold a bride in their arms or balance her on their shoulders don’t make any sense. Why would some people do this?  I refused to do this at a wedding I was involved in since it would mean I was kneeling in the grass in my black dress pants. Why would I want a fucking grass stain on my pants for a shot the bride and groom wouldn’t even buy?

Engagement photos are usually pretty stupid too. I know a lot of people keep these are look on them lovingly, but I kind of view them as dull and boring. Look at us in a field! This is where he proposed! Really? You didn’t notice the camera? Or the shots are taken a few weeks after the engagement and it is even more superfluous to have the pictures. I have never wavered in my opinions on it. That was until now.

A friend at work sent me an e-mail with a link to some engagement photos and I am not a complete convert. I almost want to get divorced so I can get reengaged just so I can do something similar. Yes, it would be copy-cat type robbery, but who cares? Look at these wonderful shots! Who wouldn’t want these on their mantle for all to see?

 

 

 

Jack Layton

I don’t post a lot about the deaths of people but I thought that this deserved a little extra attention.

Jack Layton died. Even thought I knew that he was very sick with cancer, I was still surprised by his death. Jack was always a fighter and seemed to take a beating but still fight the next day. He won’t be fighting any more.

From the CBC:

In his teens in the 1960s, he led a fruitless bid to have a youth centre built in his hometown of Hudson, Que. Later, as a community organizer and activist in Toronto, and then in his political work, Layton showed a passion for such issues as the environment, AIDS, poverty, violence against women, public transportation and homelessness. That last area of interest led him to write a book, Homelessness: The Making and Unmaking of a Crisis, which was published in 2000. He was also the author of Speaking Out: Ideas That Work for Canadians (2004).

He was a fighter for people without a strong voice and was determined to make Canada a better country. While I can’t say I agreed with everything he believed in, I think he was a better representation of all Canadians than anyone else in recent history. His words and his determination made me vote NDP in the past election. I wanted to see the NDP as the Opposition and it can all be attributed to Layton.

I hope his fight doesn’t end with his death. I don’t think there is anyone capable of doing what he has done. We may see the NDP fade into the background of Canadian politics in the next 10 years, but I think Jack’s legacy will live on. A friend of mine said he was an inspiration. I think she’s right.